I have got so many resolutions for New Year and as much as I would like to do them I do not think I will be able to. I live from one minute to another. I will never know how I am going to be feeling next minute. I have been suffering from unbearable facial pain for 6 years now. Life is so hard just to get through the day with my conditition.
I have lost all my drive and the only thing that keeps me going is my family, without their help I would not be even here today because my pain would completely destroy me. I have not worn make-up in 6 years now. I am white person but staying in the house all the time made my skin looking even whiter. " Ghost like". Funny thing is my husband bought me some make-up as a Christmas present this year. He used to love when I at least put some lippy on and made myself look a bit sexy
. To be honest I am even a bit scared putting make-up on. I now it will make my husband happy but it will certainly not make me feel any better or happier in the slightest but I will give it a go and make my husband happy. I suppose that is my first New Year Resolution. Some of you may laugh and thing it is strange because for most of you it is everyday thing you just do every morning without thinking but for me it is like climbing Mount Everest.
And another thing is to get out of my house more often not only when I go to see the doctors and not to worry about other people looking at me when my tears are running down my face because of my unbearable pain. I do not want to be hiding from the world anymore !!!!and would like to make a few steps and get some proper fresh air.
I know that I will never be able to live a normal ( what ever that means ), but I just do not want to exist and would like to live a bit. It's only up to me and this year I would really like to make it happen.
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I feel for everyone who is in the same situation like me. Let's keep strong!!!!